6.19.2005

Cardigans & Godsmack

Today I'm upset. I'm sad. I'm at a loss for words. I have a knot in my stomach. I am searching for wisdom that I don't possess. I want to be a good friend. I want to listen when I'm supposed to listen. I want to give good, positive advice when its time for me to speak. I want to be an encouragement. I want to be a shoulder to lean and cry on. I want to, I NEED to be that kind of friend.

A couple of our friends from highschool our getting a divorce. He threw in the towel today. Said that they were too different. He said that when you are young and in love and in lust...that you don't think about the major things. the BIG HUGE things. like religion, how you want to raise your kids...so now 5 years and two kids later...he decides that they are just too different. She goes to church and wears cardigans...he has Ozzy tattoos across his knuckles and blares Godsmack. She wants him to go to church, he wants her to wear black nail polish and black leather mini skirts. Sometime opposites attract...sometimes the other one betters the other one. balances the other one. but in this case the differences were just too deep.

and it saddens me. it saddens sean. it sucks. it sucks when your friends give up. and when they become a statistic. i want them both to be happy. don't get me wrong. i want them happy. and if this is what it takes to give them on the road to happiness, then so be it. but i still grieve for them. i am still upset. i still want them to kiss and make up. i still want my friend Janine to be safe. and feel beautiful. and to feel loved.

i just hope i am one she looks to her to give her all the positivity that she needs. i want sean to be the kind of man and role model that matt needs to look to, and maybe matt will see that he did give up too easily. and that he does have an amazing wife. and that these things can be worked out through compromise.

it just sucks.

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7 people took the time to say:

Amber said...

you are a wonderful and amazing friend...I am sure that you will be nothing less in this situation. I'll be thinking of your friends....

Klala said...

Holy shit, that really does suck... it's bad enough when people give up on eachother, it's even worse when they give up on their kids. I know you'll be supportive, but it still is such an awkward situation.

People do change, but when they truly love eachother, they will embrace the changes and grow together. It's so sad that they aren't willing to try to make it through. I'm sorry for them, and I'm sorry for you guys being stuck in the middle. Lova Ya mama!

Chris-el-da said...

wow! you're awesome for wanting to be there!!! just remember that most of the time divorcees just want to be *heard* and not always advised... (speaking from experience). When i got divorced one of my friends went on and on about how horrible my ex was, and that did me NO good because it just made me feel like i was stupid to marry him in the first place... i'm rambling!

sweethc said...

Just being there to listen is good enough as a friend. Sometimes people grow apart or do realize they just don't belong together. Don't allow yourself to be put in the middle and have to choose. Just be supportive friends and they will get through this trial.

Missy said...

Ash, you're a good friend. Good enough to know when to step aside, but still make your presence and comfort felt.

It saddens me to hear this too... just keep them in your thoughts, and hopefully there will be silver lining to this dark cloud.

Stay positive. :)
and if you need a laugh, give me a call.

KerryLynne said...

awww, my punkin' dunkin' is sad...now i'm sad...:(

but this why i love you...cuz you are so caring and giving and so totally awes...:)

Meghan said...

I am reading this and getting so sad. T and I have friends like this..together ten years and they just gave up. And they have two *demonic* kids together who are only going to get worse. This is so sad. I am sad for our generation who thinks that divorce is something to do if your spouse doesn't pick up his socks...SO shitty.

You are so good to me, Ash. I know you will comfort her if she needs you.