Its not about DNA

Oh Blog - I haven't deserted you. I just have been able to type as often as I would like to. I am sitting at work - have to skip my lunch break so that I can leave at 4 - so the spousal unit can get to work on time. I just ate a lemon chicken/brown rice lean cuisine. was quite tasty.
I brought some CD's to work (Usher, Maxwell, Hole, Chili Peppers) What a broad range and taste of music i like. I love Courtney Love. I do. Really I do. The obsession started back in 9th grade when I would sing along to Doll Parts while using a tennis racket as a guitar, and get my eyes wet so my mascara would run. Then it was on to Gwen Stefani (that obsession still lives on). I went so crazy one time as to slick my hair back, white make up, bright red lipstick, and a bihndi (yep a bihndi) and I even did pushups like gwen did in the dont speak video (laugh away) Anyway back to Courtney Love...love the girl..but she can't sing. but i like it.

I want to move to Canada. Or Phoenix. Or california. More so California then anywhere.
Bing is eating goldfish now. I LOVE FISHES CUZ THEIR SO DELICIOUS....

What a sweet, happy, spongebob looking little creature that I created with my husband. I feel so guilty saying that. When i say things like...This is OUR child, or WE made him...because I can't say that about Jude - it makes my stomach drop. I know that its not about biology or DNA - its about unconditional love, affection, teaching, guidance...thats what makes a Daddy but it still hurts. The cold hard reality hurts. That I did not make him with Sean. But, I am so blessed in a million gajillion other ways that that is the least of my worries. I have an amazing little boy - that has an amazing daddy that has never once looked at him as "not his own". Bing and Jude are OUR kids. They are OUR creations. They are who they are because of US. We would give our lives in a second for those two. They are brothers. and they are loved.

peace -

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