I'm Ready

Yesterday was the start of a new life for me...I turned over a new leaf. I turned the page. Whatever you wanna call it. Something snapped.

Lots of things I am changing. Lots of things I am making sure I continue to do the exact same way. Lots of things I'm introducing to myself. Lots of things I'm to risk, and just dive into.

See this is the deal...The last couple of years or so, I feel like the days have just been flying by me. I have been going to bed with no sense of accomplishment. No goals. Nothing to work towards. It was just routine stuff, stuff to pass the time. I had all these hopes and dreams in my head. {Get out of Arkansas, get my degree, become debt free, lose weight} and i wanted these things. And i constantly told other people I want these things but I was doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to accomplish them.

About 7 months ago, Sean was given a MAJOR opportunity. A GOLDEN TICKET. His aunt who is into real estate, buys old, broke down houses and fixes them up and rents them out. She offered Sean a look at house. It was a little 2 bedroom, 1 bath house. It needed some work. But nothing that was COMPLETELY crazy. Just the normal stuff. Broken Windows, New Carpet, Paint everywhere...Well we took her up on the offer. It was only 5000 dollars. (yes only five thousand dollars) I know some of my NYC and AZ friends are stroking out right now because for them thats only like 3 months of rent...but yes this house was 5000 dollars, and it was our ticket out of this place. It sounds simple right? Fix it up, sell it, become debt free, and move the EFF out of Arkansas. We were so stoked. We were excited. I mean we owned a house! And we were going to make it look awesome! And we were going to pay off our credit cards, and our jeep~well the first two months were great. Sean worked his ass off. Painted it, cleaned it, and that brings us to today. We neglected it. We ignored it. And its still sitting there waiting on us. (this was our PROJECT house, not the house we live in) It just needs some love. It just needs our attention.

Thats what I don't understand about myself. I know what to do to get me from Point A to Point B. But yet I continue to defy myself and NOT do what is BEST for me. Self Destruction.

Example: In order to pay off your debt and move, you need to fix the house and save.

Example: In order to lose weight, you MUST work out everyday and make healthy food choices.

Example: In order to further your education, you must actually turn in your financial paperwork and make an appointment with the counselor.

So that brings me to my newfound attitude. I am tired of the days buzzing by me. Im ready to get in the bed and feel like i DESERVED my sleep. I'm ready to attend college. I'm ready to stay up late with coffee and study and type up papers. I'm ready to go and get messy and have paint all over my face and in my hair because I worked my ass off getting that house in Awesome shape. I'm ready to focus on Jude's HIPPY lessons (Pre-K) I'm ready to move to wherever it is I'm supposed to be. {i don't know where just yet but I know I'm ready.}I'm ready to be in shape, and look awesome. and FEEL awesome. I want my children to think their Mommy is the most beautiful woman in the world. I want them to be proud of me. I want my husband to still get butterflies when he looks at me. They deserve that. I deserve that. I'm a quarter of the way there. I can't stop now.

I'm only 24 years old. I REFUSE to waste anymore time.

I am officially ready.

This is the page I created for my Art Journal in response to the SPARK that says go with one color and only write in the bottom right corner. I think it was to see if you could mentally deal with all the space. As you can see I couldnt. I put a big ole heart made of white out right in the middle...

The five steps to happiness:

1. Free your heart from hatred

2. Free your heart from stress and worry.

3. Live simple.

4. Give more.

5. Expect Less.

**Regular scheduled sessions of making fun of someone or something will resume tomorrow**

Also...here is an update for you. Remember all you little curious cats that were wondering what sparked that post? what happened? There is an answer for you in my comments.