Why did my husband wrap his wrists completely up in duct tape to see if he could get himself out if he were to ever be held hostage? He did...he wrapped his wrists up as tight as possible and gnawed his way through it, saying that his adrenaline would be going...and he could just BUST OUT OF THE TAPE. He was so proud of himself until he realized that his mouth might be taped too.

Why did this lady come up to me Saturday morning at a garage sale and say "That tree is mine." Yes. I was at a garage sale on Saturday, and found the CUTEST little Christmas tree for Jude's room. I thought I will set this on his book shelve and let him decorate it for each holiday. I looked around for a couple more minutes, and this lady walks up to me and says "That tree is mine. I sat it down a little bit ago. Its for my nephew." I wanted to say...WELL ITS FOR MY SON...AND THAT TRUMPS YOUR NEPHEW. THIS IS A YARD SALE LADY..YOU CAN'T JUST SET YOUR SH*T DOWN. IT BLENDS RIGHT IN WITH ALL THE OTHER JUNK. But i didn't...i said "Fine..take it. I hope your nephew enjoys it". The garage sale gods blessed me...because my last stop I got an EVEN better one for 1.00 instead of 2.00. So take that you Christmas Tree Stealing Auntie!!!

Why when my husband lets me go online shopping I can't find anything that I want? Its when I'm dead broke that i would saw my right arm off for that polkie dotted scarf at Urban Outfitters.

Why do I crave peanut M & M's so badly? Why couldn't I crave something more nutritious?

Why do I always forget my case full of CD's at home?

Why do I secretly like bubblegum pop music?

Why am I complaining?


18 people took the time to say:

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Colleen said...


Hanni said...

hee hee hee miss ash...this post just made me giggle out loud. :) Way to get the *better* tree at the garage sale!!!

Nisa said...

AH! so with you ont he peanut M&Ms! (cept I have to get the no sugar ones from Whole Foods- so not only are they not real nutritious- but WAY EXPENSIVE!)
And so glad you got a better tree for lil Jude. yeah!

Amber said...

oh those garage sale punks...
down with them!!!
sean has me laughing my ass off. good for him...basic training....for hostage situations...hey, you never know!
I need to go online shopping. if you see anything great, let me know.
M&M's huh? I haven't been craving anything lately but sleep...I guess that is nutritious.
i always leave cd's at home. i've been listening to the same one at work now for 2 weeks....
I don't know WHY you like bubblegum pop music...bleck.
complaining is good for the soul.
i love ya, no matter WHY anything of these things are happening. xo

Tammy said...

Ashley...you are so funny girl! I sometimes can't help but ask Why to somethings in my life as well.

LOL about that Chritsmas Tree thing...it's amazing how people will act at a stinkin' garage sale....it's mostly junk peoples! Get a clue...glad you found a much better deal and a better tree!

I love Peanut M&M's too...and Dove chocolates too...in fact I have them in my scraptable drawer...it's awful!

Have a good one!

Jessica F said...

dude, embrace the bubblegum pop music. Ashlee Simpson's "Boyfriend" has been rockin' my socks lately. Yes thats horrible, but its delightful too.

Try my new snack- peanuts, walnuts, dried cranberries, and a *few* chocolate chips. Yummmmm.

and... umm... i dunno what else. but I love ya!

Maria said...

Ashley, you totally crack me up!!!! By the way, I could totally see my husband doing the same thing with the duct tape!!! TOO funny!!!!

Jen said...

You and Sean sound like sooo much fun, can I come to Arkansas and hang out with you?? Please??

Ashley said...

Didn't know how else to send you this pic. It's a funny ass pic of Tom Cruise and his poor lil victom Katie. http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6097/1302/1600/celebs05718_tomkat_175.jpg

April said...

wtf with the crazy garage sale tree lady. and your hubby has me CRACKIN up...that is hilarious.

"until he realized that his mouth might be taped too"



sweethc said...

I just about cracked my side laughing at your husbands escape practice session!

And the peanut M&M thing...they are little balls of evil...full of chocolate and nuttiness and...I need a bag now!

island girl said...

dam...I hate garage sale nazis!! but I love me some M&M's!!

Diana in WV said...

Girl you are constantly cracking me up...ok, maybe the antics of your hubby constantly crack me up...lmfao..

Oh, and the yard sale lady, sheesh! I just had a yard sale with some neighbors and you wouldn't believe the things people say, how rude people get over something that isn't worth arguing over, lol. Even worse is when people who are selling things refuse to budge even $1 down on something that otherwise wouldn't sell, which the things this neighbor wasn't going to budge on were lamps, she was asking $12 each for 2 matching lamps, someone offered her $10 each because they only had $20 left...she refused to budge going down only to $11 each...lol..needless to say, the lamps never sold...stubborn arses, lol.

Strong Enough said...

LOVE your blog. Why?? You are only human.

erika said...

ooooooooooh how i've missed you miss ash!!!
you are a funny funny girl, and this just made me smile BIG time.

cindy said...

ROFLMAO!!! had to read the duck tape tidbit to my hubby & he couldn't stop laughing...too freaking funny..they do the craziest things, don't they? hahaha! and i can totally relate on the online shopping, bugs the heck out of me...lol!

Anonymous said...

Now this is funny ;)